.:: Carmilla Hash Davenport::.

hoy me voy a sedar mas de lo comun, para no sentirte lejos.
porque la vida me esta jugando bromas tan pesadas que ya quiero salirme de este juego.


carmilla@hash-davenport.zzn.com

with my ideas in the sky 

The Poet William Blake wrote: “If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.”
Have you ever imagined feeling the taste of colors or the feeling of music dancing in your body? This happens when you take some psychedelic substances, because they are just like seeing into a kaleidoscope. Yes, you can be in the same reality but increasing your possibilities of creation. Why? Well first do you know something about the psychedelic movement? Do you know the difference between drugs and psychedelics? Do you know the relationship between art and psychedelics? All these questions will be answered in the following paragraphs. Because, Psychedelics substances are used by artists in order to create other unique ways of looking at their world.
Are drugs and psychedelics the same stuff? People call all the substances that enter your body and cause some effects - drugs, even an aspirin is called a drug. But the principle difference between drugs and psychedelics is that drugs are used in order to be in a lethargic condition and psychedelics could increase your ways of thinking. Drugs enter in your central nervous system and attack it. Like in the case of cocaine, you can feel the effect that the world is small and you are a superhero, but cocaine doesn’t let you think. In another example LSD (d-lysergic acid diethyl amide) is one of the most common psychedelics, this enters into your body and literally your brain starts to work in a different way, because when you take LSD you are working with other “roads” of your mind.
The psychedelic movement started in the 60’s when Vietnam’s war was announcing its arrive and the repression towards. Young people created new social and political ideas of coexistention. In those years the hippie movement started to make some noise around the world with all their style of life, in a moment that the Earth was going through a big and deep depression. Right in that year the LSD, the discovery of Albert Hofmann was on vogue, why the LSD on top of any other substance? Because it’s ideological tendency dictated “make love, not war“ and psychedelics were the best tool to make love. As Doctor Hofmann said “…Even self-perception and the sense of time was changed. When the eyes were closed, colored pictures flashed past in a quickly changing kaleidoscope…” ( ) that kaleidoscope make the change in the perception of the people, that kaleidoscope makes the peace among social groups, races, and nations. All this movement has a repercussion in the art, the philosophy, the music, designs, style of life… everything changed after psychedelic era. As Eugene Taylor says “Psychedelics soon became synonymous…the expansion of consciousness, transcendence, and self-knowledge… new forms of social experimentation in everything from dress and music to sex and civil rights.”
Psychedelics are not new even Dr Hofmann wasn’t the creator of psychedelics. First we have to make a subdivision into psychedelics:
We have some that exist in the nature like: peyote, mushrooms, mescaline or salvia. Those like mushrooms were used by the natives of Mexico in order to be closer in a spiritual way to their goddess. For example Maria Sabina, a Mazateca how grow in Oaxaca very close to their traditions, was a “guru” and she consumed mushrooms in her spirituals rites.
Others are made in a laboratory such LSD, ketamine, 5-MeO-DMT. But in this case I’m going to explain to you what LSD is. First why LSD? LSD was the principal psychedelic substance in the history; it was discovered by Alfred Hofman, chemistry. In the beginning Hofmann tasted LSD by accident when he was in his laboratory making a synthesis of LSD-25 such in the beginning, 5 years ago, and in the final step of the synthesis, during the purification and crystallization he started to feel a unusual sensation, he interrupted his work in the laboratory and went to his home. Dr. Hofmann wrote these lines in his working report: “Last Friday, April 16,1943, I was forced to interrupt my work in the laboratory in the middle of the afternoon and proceed home, being affected by a remarkable restlessness, combined with a slight dizziness. At home I lay down and sank into a not unpleasant intoxicated-like condition, characterized by an extremely stimulated imagination. In a dreamlike state, with eyes closed (I found the daylight to be unpleasantly glaring), I perceived an uninterrupted stream of fantastic pictures, extraordinary shapes with intense, kaleidoscopic play of colors. After some two hours this condition faded away.” ( ) This was the first report of effects related to LSD-25 in humans. After this day the history of substances changed.
LSD changed around the history, when Hofman made all his experiments with LSD, and felt the sensation of being conscious about his world and decided to share all this with the psychiatry world. So he wrote about his discover with Profesor Rothlin and they started to work with the property of LSD, they discovered that LSD works in the medium brain (this part of the brain regulates the emotions) and these substances cause a very unusual feeling to the patient. So they decided to try this in humans with symptoms of depression. The first report of the use of LSD in a psychiatric way was made by W. A. Stoll. He took LDS and changed his perception about the world and his depression, at the end egocentrism went away.
All this information “flew”, and the people who worked in laboratories started to talk about the discover, first LSD was used in some psyquiatrics hospitals in order to help people. And then in the drugs ambit was include and started to circulate in the underground.
In this moment, probably you are thinking: well you are explaining something about psychedelics substances, about psychedelic era. But, what can you tell us about art? Have you ever listened to Jimmy Hendrix, the Doors, the Beatles, Rolling Stones or Janis Joplin? They are some bands that were directly influenced by psychedelic era. They were born during the 60’s, and some of they create their music by the influence of psychedelics substances. As Hofmann says:“…Hallucinogens could lead to a deepened understanding of religious and mystical Content, and to a new and fresh experience of the great works of art…”( )
Everybody knows the British band: The Beatles and probably they have listened to the song “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”. Do you know that this song was written for the LSD? The Beatles get their creativity from psychedelics such the lyric said “A girl with kaleidoscope eyes” ( ) They described all their trips with LSD and put it in wonderful songs. They have made the difference in the music movement. Indeed they weren’t the only group. Other big example was the Doors, some people say that the name came from the book: The Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley, because in this book the author describes his trips, and how it changes his perception of life. Another big example in the area of music is Tool, a contemporary cult band how use psychedelics in order to make their music, even in the song: “Third Eye” talk about his approval of drugs and wrote: “…I thing [sic] drugs have done good things for us…Cause all the musicians that made that great music that has enhanced your lives through the years, real … high on drugs!” ( )
Psychedelics have a very deep influence in painting. Do you remember all the colors and lines that represent psychedelic era? They don’t exist just because people said: we have to make paint. Those were made by artists who were influenced with psychedelics substances. Those lines were the best representation of the hallucinogens. As we see the brain starts to work with different roads in the influce of psychedelics substances, because psychedelics are one substitute of serotonite ( a natural neuro chemical in our brain) the perception of the colors, and texture of the world change.
In my personal opinion one of the best painters is Alex Grey, because he took all his perception of the world, transform it in a psychedelic dream, and finally show us in a very big paint. Other big painter that has the deep influence of psychedelics is Andrew Gonzales. The principal characteristic of psychedelics paints are the colors. In the intention of showing all the kaleidoscope of colors, they work with the combinations of very special colors such as red, orange, a very special blue or yellow. Another important characteristic that we see in these paints is the power of make you travel around the paint. They control your eyes and show you a very small part of their world. And make you dream about freedom, about love, about death. In 1950 the US government made one experiment, it consist in give LSD to a artist, and he have to paint some self-portraits, so he stars to paint, the result: at the very beginning of the paint he have the same perception of himself, then everything changed, the light in his paint was modified as he said after 85 minutes of the first dose “I can see you clearly, so clearly. This... you... it's all ... I'm having a little trouble controlling this pencil. It seems to want to keep going..” In the annex of this paper you can see some paints.
What about the legality of these substances? Most of them are prohibit in the world. Why? Because all the people think that is illegal to have freedom; is illegal to increase your creativity. Should all the people taste psychedelic substances? When this question was formulated in my mind I answer to my self: If the people are not able to respect their brothers, probably they are nor prepared for be free… As I said before this substances helps you to increase your way of thinking, your creativity, but this substances can also destroy you. If you are not prepared for taking a ride inside you, stop you road and think more about your life. All this is just a tool and in this case if the tool is getting you at the end, stop using it.
In conclusion, psychedelic was not just a era, psychedelic was not just a style of life or just a substance; psychedelic is a philosophy; because, psychedelics are like a spiral, you can start in a very general trip and move into a very deep trip about your-self. All after psychedelic movement have has a very deep change: style of Music, style of paint, style of life, political thinking. In those lines I don’t want to say: hey go with your dealer and consume drugs even though I don’t think that psychedelics are necessary to be imaginative or to create. In this paper I just want to show that in the world exists many ways of thinking, and many ways to be closer to yourself, so we have to respect all those ways of thinking because, all those little worlds now make a big universe.





carmilla@hash-davenport.zzn.com

una sonrisa me dice mas que mil palabras... 

Sentada de lado del copiloto parecía muerta, los ojos aun adormilados y la mirada fija en ningún punto. Un torrente de estornudos, como todos los días, se desató.
-Soy alérgica a la vida. Pensó ella.
Camino a la escuela a ver a la misma gente, a esa de la cual ya se estaba hartando. Su silencio particularmente profundo indicaba un hastió a la vida.
Por mas colores que intentara montar en su vestimenta el gris de sus ojos y sus pensamientos salía a flote, trataba sin éxito de reír lo mas fuerte que se pudiera con esa risa neurótica que espantan a las palomas.
Pero al final siempre pasaba lo mismo:
Regresaba a la guarida con sus demonios y platicaba con ellos por horas planeando un grandioso final…


carmilla@hash-davenport.zzn.com

Toda la tarde pensando justo en lo que escribiría en este post, trazando las palabras exactas y ahora que estoy frente a la maquina no logro que salga nada… fumbale nada así, de repente. Pero a pesar de eso están ahí las imágenes dentro de mi cabeza.
Llevo ya 5 días leyendo “Cien años de soledad” si, el libro de García Márquez y todo, desde el aire, aunque suene a cliché barato, ha cambiado. La recamara donde me encierro y el sillón, ahora son sagrados para su lectura, digo suena re mamador pero así es.
Hoy Salí a la calle con la imagen de Amaranta en la cabeza, de una Remedios que, aunque no tiene rostro, se que es hermosa. Hoy, justo hoy fui pasear por el centro, por esas calles que me transportan a otro mundo, donde los olores se graban en mi cerebro. Toda la gente es diferente por esos rumbos. Buscaba una tienda de maquetas y termine en la calle de las putas.
Cuando regresaba cruzando por las líneas del metro, entre gente desconocida y un cansancio extremo, mientras jugaba con mi nistagmus: apareció el, un hombre no mas alto que yo, con un saco ya corroído por los años y un rostro marchito por los recuerdos. Hasta ahora por mas que lo intento no he logrado descifra lo que rezaban sus labios, tal vez y sin dudarlo solo era un discurso sin líneas sobre lo mal que le ha ido en la vida. Pero ahí tras sus canas amargas y sus manos temblorosas lo seguía vivazmente una imagen, una imagen que lo mas seguro era que solo yo pudiese ver y no porque sea mas chingona que los demás, sino por la influencia del libro ese que me he estado bebiendo. Encontré a Melquíades, disfrazado de un limosnero, en la ciudad mas grande del mundo… quien iba a pensarlo no???


carmilla@hash-davenport.zzn.com

No es cuento, es una historia que sale de mi pluma como ha ido brotando de los labios de ñor Cornelio Cacheda, que es un buen amigo de tantos como tengo por esos campos de Dios. Me la refirió hará cinco meses, y tanto me sorprendió la maravilla el no comunicarla para que los sabios y los observadores estudien el caso con el detenimiento que se merece.
Podría tal vez entrar en un análisis serio del asunto, pero me reservo para cuando haya oído las opiniones de mis lectores. Va, pues, monda y lironda, la consabida maravilla.
Nor Cornelio vino a verme y trajo consigo un par de niñas de dos años y medio de edad, como nacidas de una sola "camada" como él dice, llamadas María de los Dolores y María del Pilar, ambas rubias como una espiga, blancas y rosadas como durazno maduro y lindas como si fueran "imágenes", según la expresión de ñor Cornelio. Contrastaban la belleza infantil de las gemelas con la sincera incorrección de los rasgos fisionómicos de ñor Cornelio, feo si los hay, moreno subido y tosco hasta lo sucio de las uñas y lo rajado de los talones. Naturalmente se me ocurrió en el acto preguntarle por el progenitor feliz de aquel par de boquirrubias. El viejo se chilló de orgullo, retorció la jetaza de pejibaye rayado, se limpió las babas con el revés de la peluda mano y contestó:
-¡Pos yo soy el tata, más que sea feo el decilo! No se parecen a yo, pero es que la mama no es tan pior, y pal gran poder de mi Dios no hay nada imposible.
-Pero dígame, ñor Cornelio, ¿su mujer es rubia, o alguno de los abuelos era así como las chiquitas?
-No, señor; en toda la familia no ha habido ninguno gato ni canelo; todos hemos sido acholaos.
-Y entonces, ¿cómo se explica usted que las niñas hayan nacido con ese pelo y esos colores?
El viejo soltó una estrepitosa carcajada, se enjarró y me lanzó una mirada de soberano desdén.
-¿De qué se ríe, ñor Cornelio?
-¿Pos no había de rirme, don Magón, cuando veo que un probe inorante como yo, un campiruso pion, sabe más que un hombre como usté que todos dicen qu'es tan sabido, tan leído y que hasta hace leyes onde el Presidente con los menistros?
-A ver, explíqueme eso.
-Hora verá lo que jue.
Nor Cornelio sacó de las alforjas un buen pedazo de sobado, dio un trozo a cada chiquilla, arrimó un taburete, en el que se dejó caer satisfecho de su próximo triunfo, se sonó estrepitosamente las narices, tapando cada una de las ventanas con el índice respectivo, restregó con la planta de la pataza derecha limpiando el piso, se enjugó con el revés de la chaqueta y principió su explicación en estos términos:
-Usté sabe que hora en marzo hizo tres años que hubo un clis de sol en que se oscureció el sol en todo el medio; bueno, pues, como unos veinte días antes Lina, mi mujer, salió habelitada de esas chiquillas. Dende ese entonces le cogió un desasosiego tan grande que aquello era cajeta: no había cómo atajala, se salía de la casa de día y de noche, siempre ispiando pal cielo; se iba al solar, a la quebrada, al charralillo del cerco, y siempre con aquel capricho y aquel mal que no había descanso ni más remedio que dejala a gusto. Ella había sido siempre muy antojada en todos los partos. Vea, cuando nació el mayor jue lo mesmo; con que una noche me dispertó tarde de la noche y m'hizo ir a buscarle cojoyos de cirgüelo macho. Pior era que juera a nacer la criatura con la boca abierta. Le truje los cojoyos; endespués otros antojos, pero nunca la llegué a ver tan desasosegada como con estas chiquitas. Pos hora verá, como l'iba diciendo, le cogió por ver pal cielo día y noche, y el día del clis de sol, qu'estaba yo en la montaña apiando un palo pa un eleje, es qu'estuvo ispiando el sol en el breñalillo del cerco dende buena mañana.
Pa no cansalo con el cuento, así siguió hasta que nacieron las muchachitas estas. No le niego que a yo se m'hizo cuesta arriba el velas tan canelas y tan gatas, pero dende entonces parece que hubieran traído la bendición de Dios. La mestra me las quiere y les cuece la ropa, el Político les da sus cincos, el Cura me las pide pa paralas con naguas de puros linoses y antejuelas en el altar pal Corpus y, pa los días de la Semana Santa, las sacan en la procesión arrimadas al Nazareno y al Santo Sepulcro; pa la Nochebuena las mudan con muy bonitos vestidos y las ponen en el portal junto a las Tres Divinas. Y todos los costos son de bolsa de los mantenedores, y siempre les dan su medio escudo, gu bien su papel de a peso gu otra buena regalía. ¡Bendito sea mi Dios que las jue a sacar pa su servicio de un tata tan feo como yo...! Lina hasta que está culeca con sus chiquillas, y dionde que aguanta que no se las alabancén. Ya ha tenido sus buenos pleitos con curtidas del vecindario por las malvadas gatas.
Interrumpí a ñor Cornelio temeroso de que el panegírico no tuviera fin, y lo hice volver al carril abandonado.
-Bien, ¿pero idiái?
-¿Idiái qué? ¿Pos no ve que jue por haber ispiao la mama el clis de sol por lo que son canelas? ¿Usté no sabía eso?
-No lo sabía, y me sorprende que usted lo hubiera adivinado sin tener ninguna instrucción.
-Pa qué engañalo, don Magón. Yo no juí el que adevinó el busiles. ¿Usté conoce a un mestro italiano que hizo la torre de la iglesia de la villa: un hombre gato, pelo colorao, muy blanco y muy macizo que come en casa dende hace cuatro años?
-No, ñor Cornelio.
-Pos él jue el que m'explicó la cosa del clis de sol.

La vida marea, marea hasta los huesos. Marea hasta el vomito de las entrañas…


Sentada frente a la pantalla multicolor, con los ojos negros: así me ví entre una multitud que desquiciada ríe sin parar.
Estos últimos meses mi vida ha estado llena de soledad, llena de frió; de ese frió que duele en los huesos, que cala en el alma. También ha estado llena de frases desperdigadas (que parecen sin sentido) de lágrimas de música bohemia que no es de mis tiempos, pero que sana mis pensamientos.
Miro mis ojos frente al espejo, se ven vacíos, se ven solos, se ven sin brillo, se ven sin rumbo, se ven sin mi...

carmilla@hash-davenport.zzn.com

Cándida existencia de una ciudad nublada, Cortazar juega con mis ideas
Las balancea en un péndulo de marfil
Miro al minuto escapar del segundo.
La hora me atrapa entre sus sueños negros de noviembre.
[Ciencia redonda de imágenes etéreas...


carmilla@hash-davenport.zzn.com